things outside of knowing [part ii]

if you see me, you might know me.  that is: to look at me is to understand me, but you have to be willing to understand.  all too often we look at the forces in our lives as being inevitable, expected, and translatable.  though, often, they are not.  mostly if you put a ball at the top of a fulcrum we aren’t going to know which side it will roll off of.  we are uncurious and unquestioning.  we keep our heads down (even when we pretend to act out)  and we do what we’re told (or, indeed, what we tell ourselves).

so i begin to wonder, if you step outside of the knowing-space: what do we find?  after all, the word around town is that there are no more frontiers.   … or at least that space is the final one.  but what about the frontiers of our civilization?  we seem to know each other and be aware of the distances between ourselves but i suspect there is much we haven’t even the slightest notion about.  much that is opaque.  i’m not saying the way is blocked.  but i’m saying we’re so timid to go there that it might as well be in utter darkness.

still, i begin to think that it is only as mysterious as it is ignored.

this was a long, long, long week.  a lot of rehearsals and meetings for things that will happen in march.  a couple of very important gigs (one with Aabaraki at Rockwood Music Hall) and more office/house-work than you can shake a stick it.  and yet i spent an enormous amount of time wondering about the ways in which people interact and know each other.  how people view themselves and so forth.  and what makes people think they know what they think the know.  i mean: so many of us appear to be clueless but striding out into the fray like we know what’s going to happen.

the other day i deliberate strode into a dark room about which i knew nothing,.

well, at any rate, one has to be careful these days. everyone’s got an answer to or for everything.  but the things outside of knowing?  they remain shapeless behind the shifting curtain of infinite possibilities.


About akiebermiss

pianist, composer, singer, writer. hater.
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